The struggles of living alone with Hyperacusis & Tinnitus
Ever wonder what it's like to be alone?, it's a very isolating thing, especially when you are living with the auditory conditions Hyperacusis (Sensitivity to sounds) & Tinnitus (Ringing & Buzzing in the ears). For me personally I have been living alone with both conditions for over four years now. I don't have parents, I don't have a partner. I was aiming to create a family for myself. But then in 2017 I got hit with the monster - Lymphoma Cancer, and my life hasn't been the same since. From the treatments I now have Hyperacusis & Tinnitus, also from subsequent medications I have been on, and am still currently on to manage the symptoms from all of the damage done to my body from chemotherapy and radiation.
Struggles I face on the daily are calling the pharmacy to refill my medications, because the sound of the voice on the phone hurts. Or I forget to do it, because I have to many other things on my plate. Getting my groceries if I don't have enough money for delivery. Working from home is even hard (if you can pull it off), because of the mental and physical struggle from both conditions. When you get hit with real life things such as an outstanding bill to pay, needing more money for prescriptions and other health related things not covered by insurance. Having calls with people who can maybe help with this, you need to do, because nobody else is there to do it for you. Maybe a creditor calling when you have forgotten to pay your credit card bill, now you are in collections because you are on disability benefits with no partner or parents to help. Doing the cooking, cleaning, dishes when it all causes pain. Calling in the plumber for the backed up toilet, finding the money for that. Taking care of pets can be tough, as you need to maintain them and pamper. The big one is MOVING to another residence in my opinion, I have had to do this a few times, and it's the hardest struggle I have came across in my Hyperacusis & Tinnitus journey. Most of the time your friends and family, the majority don't understand, because they are not living in your shoes.
Now both conditions are rare, Hyperacusis being more rare, Very mild cases of Tinnitus can be common with the world population. Hyperacusis on the other hand - 1 in 50,000 people will get, a small number.
So how do these people get by when they can only really rely on themselves?. They just do it to the best of their abilities because they have no other choice. It wasn't their fault that their parents had passed, or live in another country, or they don't talk to them. it's not their fault that they got illness at an early age. It's not their fault they grew up in a toxic living environment perhaps to eventually develop Trauma, PTSD, Anxiety, Depression etc.
For me I rely on a higher existence partially to help me to get by. I Pray constantly, meditate, and try to get myself out of myself by speaking to and helping others to the best of my abilities, so I feel sort of like a regular human being. Because if we are not giving to a certain degree, we are not living. Going out for walks helps when it is quiet at night time, doing some gardening, playing video games. Practicing gratitude every morning, reading some kind of motivational scriptures to start the day, chatting with others who are going through the same thing. There are ways to get by, but some are "only getting by", living to survive. Is this a way of living?, it's not, but we do it because we have no other choice. Do some of us think about leaving this world on occasion?, yes. I know I have the thoughts creeping in sometimes. Some of us have things and people to live for. For ourselves, our family, friends, loved ones, our passions etc.
Living alone with Hyperacusis is a beast. Even having the support you need it is still a huge beast, same with Tinnitus. The reason I am writing this is to try to get close ones to understand better, the world to understand better. Because we are an odd few, who live alone with this and we need help.
Thank you for reading, much love!.
David Vance
