Gaslighting w / Chronic health conditions - Pain Hyperacusis & Tinnitus
It is to manipulate (someone) by psychological means into questioning their own sanity
It’s a term that comes up a lot with a lot of chronic health conditions I believe. In my personal experience, I have had friends, family members, and other people in my life try to tell me that my health conditions (Pain Hyperacusis, Tinnitus), could all be in my head, part of it is anxiety driven, and that I need to control my anxiety to feel better, or for my symptoms to possibly disappear.
“David you can have all the things that you want if you put your mind to it”. By 50 years old you could be living in a 3-4 bedroom house, with 3 kids, a wife, a beautiful car and the best job". To be quite honest living with a “Rare” health condition that has no cure, this all seems impossible. “Look at Dad, he was able to work with a bad back, and you should be able to do the same, he had it worse than you”. I want to relay that such statements are not true or argue them, but I would be setting myself up for disaster, so I just keep quiet. I can set realistic goals for myself, and maybe start a work from home job on the computer working part time, get out for walks at night time to clear my head and for exercise. Raise awareness for my health conditions etc. I am the one who fights my health everyday, I know my body and my limitations, I know what can happen and what can’t. I know that people around me are coming from a place of love, and it’s all greatly appreciated. I have the utmost gratitude for anyone who will take the time out of their busy lives to speak to me about my life and health, and offer advice and suggestions. I can be as faith driven as possible with everything happening to me, my faith is strong and it’s taken me to unbelievable lengths that I never thought I would be able to get to in my chronic pain journey. But for some people we cannot achieve certain things, like the healthier person can. I mean if there was a cure for Hyperacusis & Tinnitus then such things could be attainable and possible. I pray and wish for a cure everyday.
Medical professionals telling me an anxiety med or an anti-depressant can cure me, talk therapy etc. I mean these things can help to manage symptoms, but will not cure my ailments, and for some, these medications can make things worse. Because every human body has different chemistry and pathology. What will work for one person, may not work for another. It’s all trial and error. Some medical professionals try to tell their patients that these ailments are all in their minds, and psychological, they don’t listen to the patient and only go by what they know. This has not happened to me from the medical field, and I could not even imagine some people hearing such things from a professional.
A lot of people have physical mechanical issues, such as jaw misalignment, problems with the nerves in the face and head, and from ototoxic medications to cause Pain Hyperacusis & Tinnitus, as well as brain problems. Very little cases are anxiety driven & psychological, and to be honest, I have barely heard of any.
All in all, we who suffer know our bodies best, we know our minds and we know what we can and cannot do, what will work and won’t work. So to anyone reading this who is not suffering from a chronic ailment or a “rare” health condition, please listen to the person who is fighting the battle, they know their condition / conditions best, and what to do. This all comes from a place of love.
Thank you so much for reading, much love to everyone!.
David Vance
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